Your Dad Determines Who You Will Marry

Before reading my blog today, I would like to ask the women reading this blog what kind of father was your dad? For the men with daughters, I would like to ask you how you see yourself as a father and role model to your daughter? One of the many reasons I fell in love with my husband was because of his loving and supportive relationship with his daughter.

My husband is truly an inspiring person, he is a man of integrity, determination, and courage. I admire him more than he will ever really know. He has over come many obstacles in his life and I have become that annoying wife who brags constantly about how great my husband is. But it's true, and I remind him all the time how proud I am of him, and everything he has accomplished in his life. Of course he knows how much I love him, but I sometimes wonder, will he ever truly know how lucky I believe I am to be married to him. He is so many things to me, he is my best friend, and he is my lover and my husband and a great father. He is respectful, loyal, honest, determined, modest and he looks to me as his equal. He leads by example, a man of action, and not so many words. He is there every time it counts. So how did I become so lucky? We live in a world where the divorce rate succeeds marriage. I hear too often from women how unhappy they are in their marriage because of disappointment in their husband and how their husband treats them. I wonder, are there that many assholes out there, or are these women marrying the wrong guys and repeating the same mistake in going after the bad boy type. Then I wonder, how did I find that "one" guy that doesn't party, smoke, drink, do drugs, go to the bars, cheat, lie, come home late, ignore me, disrespect me? How did I find a man who loves me, respects me, desires me, puts up with me, cuddles me, goes on dates with me, takes the garbage out without having to be asked, never forgets my B day or a special anniversary. Involves me in his personal hobbies and interests, wants to spend his free time with me, and enjoys my company? How did I find such a great man, and a loving father to his daughters?

I believe it all boils down to my dad. Yep, that's right my dad. I grew up with a great role model in regards to the first Man in my life. Parents under estimate a fathers role in his daughters life. Here's the thing, society leans heavily on the idea that mother's play a far more important role in their children's up bringing. But Father's are equally important. Father's do not get enough credit in my opinion, when it comes to the impact they have on their daughter's future. Girls need their fathers especially in the most critical years during puberty and teen years. In a mother centric society, fathers get very little recognition for their role in raising daughters. But when you think about it, a father is the first male that a girl comes to intimately know, and he can set the stage for how his daughter interacts in future relationships, especially with men. Now some people may wonder where this is going, and why I am emphasizing on the importance of father daughter relationships, but if you can keep an open mind, and mother's please don't take offense, but fathers have more of a significant impact on their daughters "self esteem" than mothers do. I grew up with a loving, supportive, encouraging, protective, honorable father, and amazing husband to my mom. I believe how your father treats you growing up, and your mother, will determine what you will seek out in your relationships with men. If you grew up with a supportive and loving dad, you will look to mimic these positive qualities in other men. Father's have this unique ability to inspire their daughter's, and daughter's give their father power like no other male in their life.

Research confirms, again and again, that a father plays a unique role in the development of his daughters self-esteem, behavior, life choices and relationships. Higher levels of father involvement in activities with their daughters, such as eating meals together, going on outings, and helping with homework, spending father daughter dates together are all associated with fewer behavior problems, higher levels of sociability, and a higher level of school performance among girls and adolescents. When it comes to the specific father-daughter relationship your Dad’s involvement is uniquely influential. Most psychologists believe, that all future romantic relationships to occur in a girl's life will be influenced positively or negatively by the way she perceives and interacts with her dad. It makes perfect sense to me. Looking back at my girl friends who had multiple jerk boyfriends, were the friends who either had fathers who had left their mother's or fathers who were never around. What kind of father was your dad to you, how is your husband with your daughter? If your dad rejected you and ignored you, and was always too busy for you, you will likely spend your life trying to replace him in your heart. If your dad was warm and nurturing, you will likely look for a lover to equal to your dad. It doesn't seem all that complex to me, and it amazes me how many young women find themselves repeating the cycle of dating the typical "jerk" or "emotionally unavailable" guys. Yet if your dad thinks you are beautiful, worthy, and feminine, and praises you, you will be inclined to see your self that way. I may upset a lot of mothers with my next comment, but I believe it is your father who gives you your self confidence, not your mother. Practically speaking, your dad has the opportunity to demonstrate to you how a man treats a woman. Your dad sets the standard for your future relationships with men. When a young woman grows up with a healthy loving relationship with her father or a man that is her father figure it can greatly dictate the man that she chooses to spend her life with. When a woman can have the gift of a wonderful loving relationship with her father she will grow up to be a woman who is not looking for a man to fill that void but to be with a man that she can share her love and life with. Many times we think that the first love of a woman’s life is her first boyfriend or her husband but the truth is the first person that is the love of a woman's life is her father, or it should be in a healthy good father daughter relationship. As a child the first man that you will love is your dad and that love will be part of who you are and who you become. When a girl has a father that teaches her respect for herself, shows her by example how to be kind to women, helps her to build her character and guides her to loving herself, she will hold that feeling of self respect and love throughout her life. The benefits of Father Daughter relationships are reported by Doctors and research all over the world. What I'm talking about isn't anything new. Studies have found that girls with good communication with their fathers also have significantly better communication with their boyfriends when compared to girls with low communication with their fathers. Girls with high levels of trust with their fathers also have significantly better communication and trust with their boyfriends. Women who had issues with their fathers and several negative experiences tend to repeat that cycle with their partners and their husbands. So the next time you find your self being disrespected by some jerk, take a step back and ask yourself, what kind of dad did I have? The next time your out on a fabulous date night with your husband, who I might add adore's you, give your dad a quick call and thank him for being such a great dad. It really isn't rocket science, and I am certainly no genius, but it makes perfect sense to me how we choose the men we choose as partners and who we have to blame or thank for in choosing our partners. We have tv talk shows like Oprah and plenty of studies and research that tell us that Fathers who play an active role in their daughters life, tend to have daughters who do better in school and go on to college or university. Daughters with supportive fathers tend to be more successful in careers and marry similar partners that hold similar traits as their father. So the next time your watching your husband interact or not interact with your daughter, ask yourself what kind of father is he? Is he a wonderful father, if so be sure to tell him how much you love him, and how great of a father he is. If he is not the father you had hoped him to be to your daughter, encourage him to be the father you want him to be. Some men don't realize how important they are in their daughter's lives and just need a little encouragement.

It is because of my dad I married the man I married today. I am grateful to have such a great dad and an amazing husband.