According to Hollywood

Trying to fit in this world for many young girls today must be beyond scary and intimidating.

I mean seriously, it's hard enough being my age, at 40, as it seems everyone around me is 21, has long gorgeous full wavy shinny hair, air brushed perfect skin, cute little buns of steel, and to add to the pressure, Megan Fox's sex appeal. With all the music video's, movies and magazines featuring skinny models with huge collagen injected lips, botox filled faces, tiny little plastic noses, over sized breast implants and unrealistic proportions it must really make growing up for young girls very difficult.

I wonder, and worry about the future of young girls who are growing up in a society obsessed with body image and cosmetic surgeries. Every where you look whether it's on Entertainment Tonight, TMZ or the latest issue of People Magazines there are photo's of celebrities who have gone under the knife all attempting to appear to look younger, or prettier in order to fit a certain Hollywood mold. I don't understand this cosmetic altering movement? Maybe I'm missing something? I don't know? I was watching a reality show the other night, which I seldom do, and came across the Desperate House Wives of Orange County. Thank God I was watching the show by myself, because my eye's popped out and my jaw dropped as I shook my head in disbelief. I couldn't help wonder how these once naturally beautiful women, could become so insecure, that they felt the need to undergo so many obvious cosmetic surgeries. It was like watching hard plastic stuffed dolls trying to talk with zero facial expressions. Their eyes were peeled back so far it made my eyeballs dry up just staring at them. Their lips were protruding 4 inches out, it was difficult to take them serious anytime anyone one of them spoke. All of their noses looked like they were cut from the same cloth, tiny thin little plastic looking narrow noses. I'm not trying to be mean or hurtful, but something is clearly wrong. How did beautiful women one day wake up and feel the need to ruin their beautiful faces? I couldn't help but think, has Hollywood gone mad? Are they all drinking from the same KoolAid jar? When did this look become attractive?

When I was growing up I never worried about having perfect hair, or airbrushed skin or a narrow little nose. I wasn't concerned about my upper lip being 4 inches thicker than my bottom lip, or my breasts being the same size of the feature dancer at the local strip club. Growing up, I worried about making the Division 1 Soccer team, making new friends at new schools and getting good grades, being in the Arts and Drama Club, dreaming about my future in what I wanted to do when I grew up. I daydreamed about traveling the world, going to University, earning an honest living, being successful and financially independent. I had fun, hanging out with my friends, having a boyfriend, and getting my driver's license. I can't really remember ever worrying or wondering about the pressure of where I fit in when I was growing up, or what part of my face or body I wanted to change.

I was a bit of a tom boy, yet I wore girly things like skirts and dresses. I wasn't overly thin, yet I wasn't overweight by any means. I was athletic and definately a late bloomer. I didn't get my period till I was 16 years old. I remember being so excited to finally be a woman. I was actively involved in team sports, I loved soccer.

I guess looking back, I never really had any problems fitting in, or making friends. We did move around a lot growing up, and being an extrovert, I tended to make friends easily. I had two significant boyfriends growing up, one throughout Junior high and the other throughout High School. I was asked out a by boys, and never had a hard time getting a date to the school dance. I suppose I was lucky when it came to meeting boys. I wasn't the prettiest girl in school, or the best athlete, I surely wasn't the smartest kid in school, but I never had a hard time making friends or getting a nice boyfriend. I was an extrovert and still am. I always enjoyed making new friends and talking to pretty much anyone. People have always fascinated me.

In high school I learned a bit about how important it was to fit in. The start of Grade 10 was pretty interesting to me. This is where I discovered how powerful breasts are. It is like they have some kind of control or possession over boys. There aren't many high school boys out there who are set up in a way that allows them to ignore the opportunity to get a sneak peak at a girls boobs. Boys know all the optimal times for getting that sneak peak too, during swimming classes in cold wet pools, or on a sunny day in a sheer blouse or a fast look down the front of a girls low rise shirt.

But that's not just boys, its grown men too! Men are "breast obsessed". It's a human thing, and ladies are even guilty of being "breast obsessed". I think it's hardwired into our brains as infants, men and women alike, that breasts are an important part of our survival. Most of us lived off of the fantabulous milk boobies at one point in our life, so it's only understandable that we carry a certain fondness for them as we grow older. I have come across my share of female friends who have under the influence of one too many martini's feel the need to grab a boob here and there. Can you imagine if every male guy after a few beers felt compelled to grab a breast and acted on it? There would be a lot of slaps across the face or potential law suits. The crazy thing is, I find women are more breast obsessed then men. We stare at other women's boobs, whether they are big or small, flat or little deflated raisins, or porn star implants, we judge them, we rate them, we criticize them and we envy them. Women are obsessed with boobs just as much as men if not more. We are all guilty of staring or admiring another woman's nice boobs. I guess you could say I lucked out in the boob department. But when friend's say "Your'e so lucky to have big boobs" they don't realize there are many cute blouses I cannot buy or wear as they make blouses for either little 12 year old girls, or they fit like a damn tent way too big. But don't get me wrong I'm not complaining. As far as physical attributes go, my breasts are my favorite.

I'm a realist, and I let's face it, none of us are 100% happy with everything about ourselves. Some of us wish we were taller, some of us wish we had more money, some of us wish we were smarter, skinnier, prettier, funnier, and the list could go on. But this is what makes the world we live in so interesting, we are all different, or at least we once were before the media and movies and Hollywood started to dictate what was considered beautiful or perfect. As I sit here and wonder what category do I fit in when it comes to a woman's body type, I'm honestly not quite sure, nor do I feel like I fit into any "type" because I have always just been me. I have never been celebrity obsessed, or found myself wishing I looked like anyone else. Of course there are some things I wish were a little different in my appearance, like the slight bump on my nose from falling down in grade 8 on a friends trampoline, or the left pinky on my hand that was broken in grade 9 and is now permanently crooked. I work out almost every day, I try to eat healthy and organic foods. I have always valued the importance of focusing on my inner self, and working towards being a good role model. I eat well and healthy, I don't believe in diets. I work out because it feels good to excersize and sweat. I do things because they feel good, and that's what I find beautiful, feeling good. So physically where do I fit in today? What is considered overweight, what is considered underweight? What is fit, what is healthy, what is attractive? The traditional theory of beauty says that for every man who chases the voluptuous type, such as Marilyn Monroe, or Kim Kardashian, there is another who prefers to be with a waif such as Twiggy or Kate Moss. Psychologists research says that love struck men have only one thing on their minds: a woman's WHR - waist-hip ratio, calculated by dividing waist circumference by that of the hips. In Hollywood standards I wonder where I would fit in, I'm probably considered overweight because I'm not a size 2, I'm a size 8. But lucky for me, I don't live in Hollywood. Exactly when did cosmetic surgery become as common as ordering a Starbucks latte? What was once reserved for table gossip, or speculative rumors, is now something women brag about and even proudly show their before and after photos.

I am worried about the future of young women, and how Hollywood dictates what is considered attractive. I feel that women with power and influence have a responsibility to young women growing up today. Women should be teaching young girls about focusing on their strengths of character, intelligence, integrity, courage and determination. Hollywood has a responsibility to help head it there. When young women see celebrities going under the knife and receiving numerous surgeries, I don't believe celebrities understand or comprehend the effect they have on young girls. The message that is being delivered to young girls is that even famous celebrities aren't good enough, or pretty enough and need to change the way they look to be the "It" girl or get the leading lady role in the latest movie. The thing is, I have my own movement, nothing special or unique, in fact it's quit simple really. Where do I fit in? Who am I? I am kind, I am generous, I am honest, I am loyal, I am supportive, I am creative, I am funny, I am passionate, I am Me, and I love who I am.